Assorted Objects in the Brain

174golf1
Originally uploaded by Ressler.

Never mess with a golfer who's had a subpar day. This unfortunate fellow has had a 9-iron introduced to his brain.

People tend to be imaginative when it comes to dealing injury and death. One of my patients presented with a crossbow arrow shot through the eye. By a jealous boyfriend, what else is new. Another one was unexpectedly hit with a large axe in the back of the head, by an unknown person, just randomly. We did operate and he lived through the first week but the damage was too great in the end. Another one refused to offer a cigarette to a stranger and was rewarded 15 minutes later by a baseball bat in the head. The attacker had walked into a store and stolen the bat, then returned to deal punishment.

That cheer you up? If not, here's a wonderful story. There was a man who according to our hospital records attempted suicide 18 times. He wasn't very good at it. On his 12th or so attempt, he was hospitalized and admitted to a ward, which is located on the 12th floor. Like a true pro he immediately saw the unique opportunity and jumped out of the window, only to have his leg caught in the balcony railing right below. The leg was badly mangled and he spent another couple of months recovering from extensive surgery. Then, a couple of years later, someone pointed out that he hadn't been admitted recently. To this day there has been no sign of him so he must have finally succeeded.

Okay, I promise I'll try and post something more uplifting soon....