Monday, January 05, 2009

So, why not kill yourself?

Although I haven't updated this blog recently, and definitely would not like to continue the suicide theme, there's no escaping the fact the original suicide post still gathers some attention, and new comments keep appearing, 90 comments already that make for interesting and at times harrowing reading.

The reason I brought this up now is that I saw something that has a connection with all this, and while it may not turn your life around, it will most certainly give you some new perspective and, if you're not made of stone, you will find yourself moved. Link below.


Ray Stanford said...

Dear Dr. Ressler,

I just stumbled onto your blog. I hope you will continue to do it now that you have had a "vacation" from blogging. You are very good at it.

I have a couple of blogspot blogs. One that I have been doing for a while and one fairly new one. Most folks would think that would be enough, but lately I have been getting these feelings that God wants me to do one more.

Now I remember. I recently heard the term "broken brain", and I decided to do a Google search to see if anything is out there using that phrase. That's how I found you.

Anyway, I believe that I have come to realize that many people struggle with problems in life that are the result of "broken brains." I would like to believe that each and every one of them could and would say, "Lord, please help me", and they could and would be cured. However, I also believe that most of them have done something or suffered something in the past that "broke" their brains, and now they simply can't allow themselves to know and receive the grace of God, the love of God, and live a better life.

So, now I would like to ask your opinion on something. Do we try to work with these people who have "broken brains", or do we try to get very young children into activities that will help them avoid the pitfalls that the older folks have fallen into and thereby establish a "seed society" for change?

I will watch for your answer. At the least, I hope you will continue your blog. I received some useful information from one of your 2006 posts. Much of it, as you know, never goes out of date. Thank you, and thank you so much for introducing me to Nick Vujicic. I am not made of stone, and it did move me. Very much.


Stuart Ressler, M.D. said...

Thank you Ray for the kind words.

I really hope I can find the time to blog more.

There are so many kinds of broken brains. Each requires a unique way of healing, whether it is a surgeon, psychiatrist, priest (or God), or friend who can provide that healing - sometimes there's no way of knowing beforehand (unless of course it is a brain tumor, in which case it's more straightforward).

I am very much of the opinion that we must focus on prevention, that is, our children. Prevention of social alienation is #1.

For the ones with already broken brains (most of us to some extent), there is usually only symptomatic treamtent available - that is, trying to reduce suffering as best we can.

Chris said...

Uhhhhh... I never found that linky thingy you said was there for depression stuff nice video though man VERY funny : D

JJD said...


That video was the link. It definitely helped me feel better about how lucky I am, but it made me feel worse because I can't have that kind of personality and upwards look on life.

I've been going through a rough couple of years, I had a huge falling out with almost all my friends (my closest one included), I've become lost in college and failed out semester after semester, I can't find a job, and my girlfriend of six years just broke my heart and we may end up breaking up.

It's really hard for me to see what purpose I have. I've spent most of my time behind the scenes, not doing much, not experiencing much. I didn't want to. I wanted to live a quiet life with a few good friends and the woman I love. It's stupid to say that I won't love again, but I know that I won't love anyone nearly as much as I love my girlfriend now.

If we break up I may begin looking into getting a gun to end it. There's just so much in my life that has gone wrong that I'm not sure that I'll be able to recover from my past few years here. I can only hope that whatever is after this life is less terrible than the one I'm living now.

I know that there are others who are struggling to survive in harder situations, but I'm tired of struggling to survive in the easy situation I have. I'm nearing the end of my rope. It won't be a sudden thing, I've thought about it off and on, it isn't a "oh I'm depressed and want to kill myself", I've had a lot of those but never tried.

I've never hurt myself physically (other than punching a few walls out of anger) and the only way I would is to end my life. I've always been a soft heart and I'm not sure I can mentally or emotionally stand what I've been through any longer.

If I'm still alive at the end of this year, I'll be amazed.

Note that I am actually seeing a counselor tomorrow and will be talking with him about all of this, but that doesn't change how I feel right now, and have felt the past few months/years.

And before I do it I will try to talk to everyone that I know and let them know what they're done for me and how I feel about them. I'll message my old friends and apologize, maybe hang out with some of them too, but in the big scheme of things I'm just too tired to keep living.

Suicide is the easy way out, and it is for the weak. Right now, that describes my situation.

Jessy said...

I hope you continue your blogging as well. I just read through all your archives and it has made me think a lot. I got to this through a desperate google search for a reason to back away from killing myself--a thought I am plagued with every day--to which I didn't expect to find a serious or meaningful answer. But this turned the trick. I know you don't want to keep thinking of it, but your blog did help. In addition, your anecdotes are thoughtful and well-written and I enjoy reading them, you have so much heart. I hope you come back.