I'm in one of my disillusioned moods again, so if you do choose to read this, be warned: it's cynical. This is stuff you don't need to know. This is the kind of talk doctors engage in when they've had an overdose of psych patients...
Before proceeding to read this, check the instructions on how NOT to kill yourself with a shotgun, look here. If you're still interested, read on..
There are various ways to kill yourself that I wouldn't personally recommend. For instance, dousing yourself with gasoline and setting yourself aflame is generally a bad idea. Chances are you'll survive, but lose most of your skin, and end up looking really freaky, after a couple of months of extensive surgery and intensive care.
If cordless bungee jumping is your idea of a cool exit, do make sure you do it from at least the fifth floor. Second floor is just not high enough. Again, with surgery and intensive care, you'll be discharged in a couple of months, a cripple with brain damage.
Valium is the classic suicide attempt drug -- with an emphasis on the word "attempt". I haven't seen any successful Valium suicides. You'll end up sleeping real sound, and eventually taken to the ER, where a world-weary doctor, rolling his eyes, will stuff charcoal into your brand new stomach tube. You'll be discharged after a psych consult. As an emergency medicine teacher once told me in medical school, the only way to kill yourself with valium is to stuff so much in your mouth that you choke on it. However, successful cash-ins have been made with a mix of Valium, alcohol, and perhaps some antidepressants thrown in for good measure.
Throwing your house of dust in front of a moving vehicle will not guarantee a one-way ticket to eternity. More often than not, what you get instead is a round trip to the OR and intensive care again, and go home to an even more miserable life than before.
[edit] Added 2009-08-09: Before you take any drastic action, please see this if it's the last thing you do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnuAyFCZjdA
Coming up in The Broken Brain: Self-Cutting. Stay tuned, but only if you really want to read about it..
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78 comments:
Miss 12 years old, please hang at least until your twenties, 12 years seems so young to want to end it.
I AM 46 AND I HATE LIFE,TRUST ME KID IT DOESN,T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS!!
Thanks for the note on valium as a bad choice... lots of it here, good to know it would all be in vain... I think a gun is the best bet... I've never heard of anyone succeeding on overdosing anyway...neither my mom nor my sister could get it right, so I said I never would... but it is just so tempting when it is the only thing around...
there is a completly painless way to kill your self and here is how to do it
they say if your brain does not get any oxygen for a certain amount of time you will die right well all you need to do is find the vain on your neck that when pinched for a short amount of time you will faint but instead of pinching it take something like a clamp or a clip so it keeps it pinched and if pinched long enough there you go you are now dead hope that helps i might do it to and i am not at my 20's yet.
my life is a falier everything annoys me i allways get stressed out and by the time i am in my 40's(if i make it there) think of what effect physically the stress will have on me
i hope that that works
or you could just will someone in the u.s.a and they might give you the death penalty or put you in jail
Yeh i agree life sucks we all die eventually dont we? So y not now nd skip all the bad stuff in life? Well people wud say im a bit young 4 this at 15 but the plan idea does seem sound. So if i survive my vodka/paracetamol/aspirin/codeine cocktail of death ill send in anuther post 2 say if god really exists nd cares or if luck does happen 2 the unlucky. Cya!
do you think that kid killed himself with vodka/paracetamol/aspirin/codeine cocktail
yes, i think he did, i might try that too.so long, stupid world.
Wish I had an large supply of sleeping pills handy. I'm not sure but it seems like the most handy and cost effective way to do it.
Also, from what I've read, if you can get a hold of a syringe then the best and most painless way may be to simply inject yourself with a full syringe of air. This will supposedly stop your heart. Not completely sure though as most of the responses on these sites have been from complete fucking idiots and moron trolls who can't even let people kill themselves without adding some retarded comment. Personally it just makes me want to do the deed that much more knowing how many idiots are out there like yourselves.
LASTLY- Matthew, you're 12 years old man. Shut the fuck up because at 12 years old you don't know shit and everyone hates themselves at that age anyways. I know you've heard it before but it's true so give it a few years aight?
Wait until you're at least 25 like I am. At that point if you still want to kill yourself then do some research like I am because I don't want to go painfully.
PS- there is no heaven or hell. don't worry about that shit. all you religious idiots keep your stupid ass comments to yourself.
i'm really not sure if anyone on here can or even will help, but what is the most reliable (and painless) way to commit suicide? I've tried ODing, i even tried hanging myself, but my dumb ass friend decided to turn up at my place and cut the rope, or my biggest failure, crashing my car, i got out with a cut finger and whiplash...
before anyone starts telling me i shouldnt, or that i have a lot to live for, (insert usual cliche here) etc, trust me i dont, while im only 23 iv experienced all i want to and a lot i wish i hadnt, so only genuine responses please.
Nick
killing yorself isnt as easy as anyone would think. its been 6 months since i overdosed and i said i would post back if it failed and here i am. i still stand with what i said tho that life sucks etc etc. AND god doesnt exist, cos if he did he wudve let me die there and then and wudnt of kept me suferring. i mite try again one day as my life isnt getting any better.
went on a bender week, aiming to be dead by friday. drank non stop for 62 hours. whilst taking speed. Injecting Vodka mixed with crushed duromine tablets into the vein.(burns like a mother fucker) had 5 ampoules of valium intra muscular, 15 phenergan tablets, oxazepam tablets, 20 panadeine forte and sniffed jungle juice every night. My plan obviously did not work..I now have cellulitus in my leg and my arm and it hurts like hell. im still going from the speed, and when i finally come down, ill be so depressed and pissed off.. maybe I should just pay the money and buy the gun. have fun kids..
hmm this site is funny to read but the comments are abit weird, y would any one want to accually kill themselfs, ive been there tried duin it 1ce but then thoguht whats the point live ya life to the max theres allways sum way to make it better :P
Sam 16 from England have a nice day :D
I was suicidal and into s/m really bad for over 10 years. Went to rehab and that didn't do shit for me either. I kind of just stuck it out with all of hte ups and downs, i am now happily married with a baby on the way. People all have their ups and downs in life, some people it's worse than others. Human nature is to fall and get back up, its what builds your personality, views and beliefs. I am not religious, I don't think God helped me. It's all will power. If you want to die bad enough all of you would've found a gun and offed yourselves already. You ALL have something or someone that you think about while you are contemplating this that holds you back. That is why you haven't done it. What's sad though is all of you will read this and think that it's all bullshit, she doesn't know how hard my life is, or some other version of that, I did it too. Think that I am some dumb opptimist, if you wanted to really off yourself you wouldn't be looking for ideas online, it's playing with the idea that you enjoy so much and the attention it brings.
You know what's funny? I was doing a search on the internet for "painless ways to kill yourself" since I had a really shitty day and didn't feel like facing tomorrow and came across this website. I have read all the comments above and finally realized. . . there are 12-25 year old people posting things like "life sucks" "there is no God", etc. And all I have to say now is "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" There are people who have lived over twice our age and have experienced more than life has to offer. They might not believe in God, but they believe in LIFE!! I then realized. . . today will pass. . . tomorrow will come. . . and things will change----but ONLY if I change them!!! I can't feel sorry for myself if I haven't made a valid effort to change my "sucky life". Yes. . . life is shitty sometimes. . . but we are only given as much as we can handle; and if we can't handle what we feel is the 'sh***iest' day in our life. . . then why are we here? Focus on what makes you happy. . . not what makes you sad/angry/resentful. If you are 12, or too young to move out, then focus on the time you have away from your "heartache". . . I tell you what, it works. I don't know how many times I've thought of suicide and tonight was the only night I thought I could actually go through with it. . . but then all I could think about is "what if I didn't have________" or "I remember when_________" and got to thinking "If I end it now, what will I miss" I know most of you will say "NOTHING". . . but again----how do you know? It may not get better tomorrow, or the next day, or even next week; but I know if I focus on the things that actually do make me happy, then I'll make it through and be able to tell all those people that said I couldn't make it or said that I wasn't worth it to "GO TO H***" because I did make it--without their help! Please keep that in mind when you are thinking of ending your life--even if you don't believe in God---you were put on earth for a reason. Maybe it was to convince me not to commit suicide---or maybe it was to mentor others who have attempted suicide as to the reasons why it's a bad idea. Whatever the reason, know that eventually--with enough self-reflection and time to think/work things out--it will get better. Don't let 1 bad day (or a couple weeks of bad days) get to you like it almost did me. I know some will post negative feedback to my post--but hey, can't stop you--if that's how you need to release yourself then so be it---me posting this is how I need to release myself. Truthfully, I am glad I came across this website because now (especially after realizing that a 12 year old and 25 year old are posting they are going to off themselves) I realize how valuable life is and it will only change if I take a proactive approach and change it myself--no one is going to hand me happiness--I have to find it myself!!!! Good luck to all---and if you do decide that suicide is right for you--may you find happiness after death.
Well, I really been thinking of ending my life, I'm 18 and my best friend just died, he was aucctly my cousin but he was like a brother to me and he was only 17...
I really just wanna go hang out with him again and if killing myself is the way to get there then I'm fine with that...
I got nothing special going on in my life anyway...
But I was hoping overdosing on sleeping pills would do the trick, if I hid myself somewhere do you think it would work so nobody could find me for awhile to take me to the hospital?
I just want a painless way to go -.-
im 38 years old.everything i touch turns to shit except my 3 kids. i,m thinking of doing the old job of closing the garage door and the hose from the exhaust pipe into the car.i work like a dog 6 days a week and have come to the end of the road.i cant go on,its getting close to the end of the fuse now. thanks for reading.from the worlds biggest looser.
Im 31 and I'm finally realizing that all of the dreams I had as a youth will never come true- Not getting married, not having any kids, not going to travel the world, not getting to do music for my main job, not going on vacation again this year, and the list goes on. The only constant is work work work drudge drudge drudge along. Sucks all the energy and joy so there's nothing left to put towards any of those dreams I had. Never even came close to any of them coming true. Yesterday I just laid in bed all day and looked at the ceiling on my day off. Probably do the same today. I hope I can find a painless way to kill myself, instead of some boring post about "have hope and keep on pushing!!" which really is a mask for -please keep on working and drudging and supporting the fucking system that got you here. Does any perfect overdose cocktail work? I would prefer not to wake up...period.
If you have kids please reconsider.
So I know how this may sound a bit cliche' but its true. My mother killed my father emotionally, well in reality he killed himself all coked up with a gun. Then my mother killed herself shortly after my 20th birthday while I was in college. I'm 25 now and taking care of my baby sister who is 7 years old, I never finished college due to that fact and now I'm stuck.
I do not want to leave her alone, so I stick to it, day in and day out I go to work, pick her up from school/daycare, feed her and send her off to bed.
I'm 25 years old and this is not what life is meant to be for me.
So please, if you have children you should feel obligated to stick around for at least their sake.
Take it from me.
You can't kill yourself at 12 dude. Nobody really has anything going for them at that age. At least wait until you're 25ish to make that call. Once you get out of your parents house, and get into some drugs and girls, you'll start having some fun. Seriously, wait.
This is for the 12 year old. What is causing you to be depressed? You say you want to kill yourself? Have you spoken to anyone about this? Your doctor will keep it confidential from your parents. Hang in there. You are too young to decide to do something like this/
After the past couple years I've been having, killing myself seems like a good idea. I feel like a burden on everyone I know and I hate myself for a lot of the things i've done to people and what people have done to me. I can't trust my family or so called friends. I fuck up everything I come into contact with and can't do anything right. I'll probably fuck up killing myself too. I never thought I could get so sick of life after only 20 years, but I am. I'm thinking i'm just going to go find a nice big tree in a secluded area and tie up a rope and jump. if I don't break my neck, i'll atleast suffocate my self.
Anyone with an honest pain free or minimal pain way of dying pleaseee let me know and don't bother with the overdose on paracetamol and anidan i tryed that nine times already, i tryed to hang myself yesterday but the rope snapped :( my brother hung himself in january he was only 18 i miss him soooo much and want to get away from all this pain and yesterday my boyfriend who i honestly loved more than anyone else in this fucked up world left me because @he doesn't feel the same way about me the one time ireally needed him and he has let me down and there is no chance of us EVER getting back together so i honestly can't and do want to get through all this on my own i have no one anymore i have pushed everyone away pleaseeeee help me get away from all this help me to see my two nanas two grandads my brother and my cousin and friends that i have juring the last 17 years that have been taken from ,e pleaseeee i can't take anymore
Im soo messed,maybe i want to end it to save everyone else. but like many others way too spinless to do it.medicinal euphanization would be a nice option eh.just think,instead of costing taxpayers all the therapy and medecine costs.if it was as easy as a light switch to kill myself i would,ve done it.38 yrs old male who loves being a hero.dont have the guts tonight either,so i will research more. ps thanks for the fifth story or higher suggestion.
yeah i'm twelve too, and i don't really hate life too bad, just things haven't been going my way for years now.. last year i tried to kill myself but something made me not..whatever to that and i have cut myself before just to get rid of stress, but let's say i just really need a break what can i do instead of killing myself or cutting myself to make me a little better? Also i have started my own hang with four of my closest friends but we are not like emo or shit, just we find ways to help other people spite our own messed up lives.. and i actually have no problem with that, just lately i've lost my mind and btw, i know a lot about life and i know that waiting can just kill yourself inside, but i do understand that "A handful of patience is better than a bushel of brains"
By my 23rd year, my life had become unbarable. It's not that i had any rougher a time than anyone else, it's just that i felt like shit all the time. I woke up one night with a feeling of misery and dread i can not describe, and i prayed. i do not believe in God, but i prayed anyway. A few days later, i picked up a book (in the street no less) - and it changed my entire life. This book is called The Power of Now, and for anyone who is tormented and tortured, and thinking of killing themselves, if there is one last thing you do before you die - please read this book. I've known people who committed suicide, and there is nothing sadder on this earth. The Power of Now - don't hesitate, buy it today.
If you want to learn how to think positively, I suggest reading THE MIRACULOUS TRANSFORMATION OF DANNY BRYANS - it's available on amazon and lulu.com - if you don't maker the effort to read these two books, then i don't know how i can help you. you have to help YOURSELF.
Good luck
Things seem so dark right now. I dont want to go one. I feel as if I will not be able to make it through another day. I only have one person in my life that I can count on and its only a matter of time before she gets tired of me and wants me to leave. My family hates me and has never accepted me. I feel so alone in this world. I feel hopeless to change anything. I just want to put everyone and myself out of misery. I don't want to live any more. Please help me die. -barely breathing
my 16yr old daughter died on christmas day and i just want to be with her i'm still here but i plan my suicide everyday i know i will do it i just don't know how and when, i want to be successful i don't want to be saved i just want to be with my daughter, what is the most effective way i've read so many different things i want a method that just won't fail.
Have any of you critics ever considered keeping your nasty little comments to yourselves?
U have no idea what the hell is going through someones mind, what emotions are in play, or any knowledge of why someone FEELS that way, let alone actually tries going through with it.
It isnt UR life, U dont have to live it, U dont have to deal with it, U dont have to face it, remember it, cope with it, hide from it or end it??
Dont judge someone till YOU'VE lived THEIR life!
Who do u think u r puttin others down because they feel an overwhelming urge to put an end to their personal pain and misery?
Im in my early twentys, and in MY short life time ive experienced more pain, heartache and misery then most people double and triple my age.
I fight a constant battle to get through each miniute of each hour of each day.
I have attempted ending my own life and came very close to suceeding. Not only do i now still have to deal with the reasons that caused me to so this, I also have to deal with the consiquences of my actions. The thing is I still dont want to live, but no-one can accept that, yet, if i was to have a terminal illness, such as cancer, then everyone would have to accept it.
From the moment your able to understand, you are "taught" that killing yourself is wrong, selfish, shamefull, cowardly, mentally challenged, dirty, ect.
But let me give you my point of veiw:
If i can no longer stand to experience one more second of MY OWN anguish, pain and misery then WHO is to say MY decision to end MY torment is wrong? Or bad? Or un-Holy? If I decide to take MY OWN life, knowing the reprecussions, i.e hurting loved ones, leaving children behind, tearing holes through familys who will inevitably blame themselves, ect, because I can no longer cope with MY agony, only wanting to end the pain, then how can anyone tell me im wrong? Why should i continue being tortured in my daily existance?
Selfish?? Sure, You no longer care how other people will feel, cause all you can think about is yourself and your own feelings and how bad it hurts, so bad that you cant bare to draw another breath, that the only option is to end it all, cause when you do, you'll no longer feel anything.
You wouldnt see an animal suffer would u? If an animal is in great pain, the general public deem it "kinder" to put them out of their misery with death, then to prolong the suffering. The same with life support, the decision of wether they live or die is in the hands of there next of kin and most often thought "kinder" to switch it off so as not to prolong it. Expectant mums are offered abortions, (not meening to start a debate on wether its right or wrong here) but if the "fetus" is able to use its brain to send signals to other parts of the body then is it right for it to be terminated so as not to prolong suffering because it may or may not have a "condition" according to medical profesionals? In every case the decision of life is taken away from the primary individual. If all this is morally acceptable then why not suicide?
Suicide is frowned upon, looked down on, and seen as a sin.
Before you start with the negative responses, let me remind you that:
We are in charge of our own lives, and can only judge OURSELVES.
Therefore the decission to live or die should be your own choice without slander or hearsay.
You should'nt be persecuted for exercising you're free will, to make a choice, to pick an option, to choose for yourselves when "Its time"
So unless you get some kind of perverse pleasure out of kicking someone when there already down.
Try and understand that the person your ridiculing is quite possibly trapped in a living nightmare. That suicidal thoughts, then actions, only come when you cant see any hope at all, when you see your situation as being so bad you give up, and no longer respond to that natural born instinct to survive.
Hi everyone, I have been reading the comments on here and im glad im not alone. I dont want to live anymore. Life is just gash! Im 27 and I just dont know how much more I can take. Yeah people will say it'll get better but they dont know! I just think I would be better off not being here. Really looking for a way to end it all but not in a painfull way (if its possible) was thinking about what if you take a mixure of sleeping tablets does anyone think that that might work. Was thinking of the OD approach but reading the comments I dont think i could handle the pain.
This is to the girl who said that I am the only one who can change my life and happiness. I agree with that. But, I have been in this trap of a horrible financial rollercoaster for 10 years! It wasn't much an issue when I was younger but now at age 33 I am exausted. I try to get a second job, but none fits into my full time job schedule so far. 2 days after each pay day of paying rent and bills, I am left with $100 to last me 2 weeks and in Los Angeles, that is nothing. I have been at my great job for 3 years that pays me just enough to stay but not enough to do anything else but go to work. Every month.. every day. I am soo sick of this never ending cycle. I think quit and get a better job.. change my life. Every time I get the motivation to do so, with no responce, I get tired immediately. I want to be happy. I know it's my responsibility to change to be happy, but what about when your so depressed, tired, you're too exausted to move. what then? How do you keep trying to change your happiness when even if there was a rope thrown to you, you're too tired to grab it? I'm over it. I am simply so over it I feel that my only choice is either to accept this as my life, or end my life. I am not thrilled about either.. but I am honestly soo soo exausted that someone else handing me some sort of leg up is the only way suicide won't seem my only way out. I never thought of myself as a lazy, unmotivated, weak person. I was very happy once. But after running into closed doors over and over again, I'm too tired to run into another door of hope and let down. Change it myself? If only that worked.
i guess i was looking for better answers than wats on this site todays my 19th bday i spent it al alone and my brother killed himself i lost my first job house and car because some assholes jumped me and broke my arm cuz i couldnt work than i got a new car and a job delivering pizzas but got in a car wreck have u everthought maybe your ment to kill yourself to teach somone else somthing or idk but you were talking about a shitty week or month ive had a shitty last three years.... but im pretty sure todays a good day to go out happy birthday to me hopefully as my present i succeed..
I woke up this morning to my neighbor shouting "get up, I think Patrick killed himself"
15 years we have been friends and early this morning, he ran a hose from the exhaust pipe into his Jeep and took his own life right outside my bedroom window.
I am happy he is out of his misery too bad he couldn't of figured out a way to solve his problems without causing misery for the people he claimed to love. I know...this was about him but right now, it's really not and I wonder how he could say he loved me yet sentence me to a life filled with images of his death. I really hate him for this.
im 14, have no future and the person i care most about in the world is dead, should i do it?
im also ugly
bout that 12 year old kid. nobody likes being preached to but stick it out smoke a L but dont go crasy doing drugs. im only 17 but im very experinced.im looking at this site cause i got my girlfreind pregnant and nochance of abortion and igot money but not that much.i try to live a descent life and i cant belive im being punished like this.thinking of shooting myself with a .45 since i cant find a shotgun.then i was thinking of getting retarted drunk and high and tripping and stab the back of my kneck thinking ill cut the pain receptor.please leave a coment on this site leave a goood painless way would be apreciated cause im making a decsision soon.shout out to ZULU NATION chapter 25/ SSP Li
Ok, well the way for me has to be valiums, i dont jsut mean taking lots, last time i downed 200, big mistake. Woke up 2days later covered in puke with paramedics and my friends there.
No the way i will be doign it is like this. 10 valiums, down them, next place a plastic bag over the head with an elestic band over the bag so it is air tight around the neck. (if you want first put on one of those dust masks) Some people get freaked out with the bag clinging against their face.
Now you want to be sat up in a bed of on a comfortable sofa. Place your hands under the elastic bad so that you can let plenty of air in and you can breath normally. AS the valiums kick in you will slowly drift off to sleep. At the same time your hands will fall down and the elastic band will snap the bag closed around your next. As you will be as sleeping their will be no panic as the CO2 builds up and slowly Asphyxiates you.
Few warnings, dont drink before, you will only end up puking up and the staggering about until the bag will falls off. Thats what happened to me. Also dont go mad with the valies, you only need enough to put you down. Too many and your gonna fuck up again.
Thats all from me!
When i die bury me face down so that the whole world can kiss my ass.
A lot of you think you have problems with being stressed..?
Now try being in my position.. Try being in love with someone for the past 3 years, and in the last few months you start to become paranoid about the fact that she may be annoyed with you every other week, or just annoyed in general, just because she's being slightly distant (which of course, shouldn't bother you too much if you are in love with her).. So when you ask her - as the kind, caring person you are - it backfires; she becomes tiresome of how annoying you have become.. and in the end, decides to walk away from it all, leaving you in the dark, and doesn't even tell you the real reason.. Even after all the begging and explaining of how much she means to you, she won't take you back, at this stage, nothings going to change her mind.
Now, again, try being in my position.. Sat with friends/family in the day and at night, crying over the one you've now lost, and know isn't coming back, ever! Sat at your PC wondering what life will now be like, when you're missing just about THE biggest chunk of the puzzle.. So You turn to suicidal idea's, and decide to take the easiest, but of course, most cowardliness way out.
Hey, who gives a shit?
You think You guys have it bad? Guess again..
If anyone finds this I'm probably already gone.
For the positive people
Go F your selves
some people have ups and downs and some people have real bad gunky going on in their messed up little heads, Ive been going up and down since I was seven, I'm Bi Polar, and guess what it get quicker and more intence, On side bordering at a catatonic state and the other at meglamania. and then you get the real benders, when you just out lose your mind for a couple of days
Thats why I am here. I'm 26 and on my way to hell dam proud of it, I've made it through some pretty awfull s### thinking it would get better guess what. Last year this time I was doing better than I ever did, had a real nice girl friend making loads of cash, Couldnt Believe it was going so well, It peaked this year April the third, the next morning I lost my mind again. No more girl friend no more loads of cash, Just me and a old buddy called substance abuse
How did I find this site, I was looking for the dose I'd need. To leave this world Riding my drug of chose straight to hell.
Now positive people what do you do when you dont remeber wgat you did the day before. If what you did was really looney
Speed dude, Leave the aphetimin get your hands on a serious opioid and OD you wont wake up.
i'm 13, i don't draw attention to myself at all! i've told one person, and he didn't care, now we're not friends, and I haven't told anyone since, my father died around christmas, and I don't care about anyone. all my mother cares about is her stupid little baby and she doesn't listen to anything i say. I've waited too long. I don't care what you. You don't become more rational as you get older, you become more hesitant, i want to die, i've had since i was 11. and it's not because school is too hard, and it's not because people make fun of my "emo kid" look daily, it's because i don't care about anyone, and to truly want to live, you need someone you care about, to want to stay there and want to protect them. My life is great, but everyone thinks i've been through so much, I don't get it. I have, noone. and I'm afraid i never will. I just don't want to be here anymore, I wnat to be nowhere, in the ground, where you slowly become nothing but bones. That's where I want to be, I swear, If I end up a stupid fucking soul roaming this god awful earth, I will go on a ghosty massacre. bye.
I'm 32 and I tried killing myself about 5 years ago by drinking as much as I could then swallowed a bottle of Tylenol PM and obviously that didn't do the trick! I remember puking up a lot of black shit and woke up with a bad burn on my shoulder from passing out in my vomit. I've been to two different therapist's, suspended my sense of reason and became a "born again" christian only to have wasted 3 years of my life believing some dumb shit and being around a lot of gullible naive idiots! I've been in a relationship with a girl that really loves me but I can't say I feel totally the same. I'm just hanging around life waiting for something better to come along. I've tried different jobs, living in different states and it always comes back to this! I hate that my death will cause others so much pain and that's the only thing keeping me here honestly. I have two nephews that I don't want to leave an example of me taking my own life, so I just hang around everyday. Weed helps get my mind off things but only for a little while. There are no answers and this world is pretty fucked with all the greed and corruption but still I can't bring myself to try it again! I want to just leave but I know I cannot run from this because I know it's my mind that is the problem! I don't even know why I'm writing this, I guess it's something to do! Fuck all the insensitive pieces of shit that permeate our society. Sucks that they are the ones not taking their own lives! I just want to live somewhere peaceful but not finishing my education and having no skills or knowing anyonr that can really help just brings me back to this! There is no reason for me to even be alive but nonetheless I remain here! What a joke! I'd rather have my nephews think I'm a bum then whatever they may think if I succeeded in taking my life. I don't want to fuck them up, life is hard enough as it is and I don't want to add to it for their sake! No job, no purpose, no direction! Guess I'll pretend to watch TV, pretend to enjoy the unlimited entertainment we have in this society and hope that someone with more courage then myself will suicide bomb themselves into a full session of congress and put a big smile on my face! The likelihood of that happening is slim but hey, there's always hope as dumb fucks like to say! Oh yeah one more thing FUCK THIS SYSTEM, hope it all comes crashing down! That is reason enough to live, I guess!
i've been thinking about killing myself since i was 9 yrs old.today is my 20th birthday, and my life doesnt get any better..i dont think it will...the only reason that keeps me alive is that i love to see my brother's eyes and i know that he will suffer because of my deadth.life sucks...no doubt about it, since i moved to the sates from my country,....i feel so lonely, people always judge me because of my accent, they are always making fun of my, my parents dont care about what i feel, and i miss my brother so much...i think this is the last thing that im going to write in my lifetime....happy 20th b day for myself, but thats it.....hopefully i'll succed, forgive me bro.. i love u!
ok this is to everyone that is bugging the 12 yearold about killing himself. because i am 12 and i have no hopes and dreams i was raped as a child from my big brother both of my sisters have been really close to killing them selfs and both of my brothers have been in and out of jail at the moment my oldest brother is in jail for ten years so i know how it feels to be going through hell in fact last week i was playing with ballons filled with drugs i could have die that way but no i did not want to because i know what it did to my family when my brothers did that so please if you want to die then dont do it with drugs just do a cleen painless things for your family... please keep the sight up so i know a easy way to kill myself thanks~Heather
im 15 in 2 months and iv had enough of my shitty years my "mum" is a complet bitch she only cares about money, my brother in a wanker, my sister thinks she my mother she wants me to do the same things she did at her age she wants me to move to her old school and become an office worker, as for my "dad" he would rollover and eat shit if my sister told him to seeing as my sister is his fav
at school i have no friends coz im to shy to talk to ppl and my so called "friends" from primary school have ALL and i mean all ditched me, a few weeks ago i fell down the stairs and i broke my arm and leg not1 of them called to ask if i was ok nor come see me I MEAN HOW FING HARD IS IT TO JUST WALK 100-200 METERS!!!!
im also the biggeest failure at school because i go to a christian school where EVERY1 but me are all smart
anyway how long does it take too die from sleeping pills, if uv tried sleeping pills and it didnt work how long where u left alone until u got taken to hospital??
and DONT tell me that im TOO yough to die because my life COULDNT get any better!!!
good luck for thoes who are going to try soon i envy u all thnx frm FAILURE
This is a message to all you people who want to kill yourselves: you selfish egotistical bunch of idiots! A friend of mine died in a car accident recently. You should see how empty his friends & famililys life is now without him. Life is a gift so for gods sake enjoy it and stop being molodramatic.
A free, easy, quick and painless way to die? Jump off a 10+ story building. The higher the better. Nothing less than 10 just to be sure.
It's free. No pills or guns or drugs or any other paraphernalia to buy.
It's effective. As long as the building is high enough. You don't have to worry about surviving an OD, or missing the shot, or a nose breaking, or someone finding you.
It's pretty much painless. With enough height and momentum, you will snap your neck/spine or crush your skull or do enough immediate damage that pain receptors won't kick in, you'll just be dead. And with the immediate damage factor, paramedics will be pronouncing you on the scene, no painful reconstruction from missed gun shots or hospital stays from unsuccessful over doses.
It's readily available. We live in a industrial society where in any given city there are dozens upon dozens of high rise buildings. Find one, get to the roof or an open window (you have to be quick if you trip off an alarm of some sort), check your landing area (you don't want trees or bodies of water or other things to slow or stop your fall), and jump. Go for a really really tall parking garage for utmost jump-ability.
This is all of course hinging on your ability to first deal with the pain and devastation you will inevitably cause to those who have survived your death. No friends or loved ones? There is more than likely someone who will miss you, think of you, want to kill themselves also now you are gone that you never knew about when you were alive. But hey, you'll be dead, so what does it matter? Pesky road block, that not wanting to cause your survivors pain. Stops a lot of suicides.
Jumping off a 30+ story building on to sheer concrete ground is THE most effective way to kill yourself. Those who truly want to die will eventually resort to this method. Those who think they do want to die, but in reality do not, will resort to other methods which will typically result in failed attempts. Those who successfully kill themselves by other methods are often attempts of someone who in reality did not want to die, but they were unfortunately successful.
Someone, I don't know who, once said "There is absolutely ONE thing in life you MUST do, and that is deal with the consequences of your actions." Everything else is a choice. Taking the garbage out, paying bills, paying taxes, eating, breathing, you do not HAVE to do any of those things, But dealing with the results of those choices is absolutely unavoidable. I choose not to go to work? I lose my job. I choose not to breathe? I suffocate.
So you argue, "but I can't _____". I can't pay my bills, or deal with my problems, or take this life. "It's not my choice". You say. Unfortunately for your "can't" statement, it's wrong. There is no "can't". There are far, far too many ways to fix whatever trouble you are in. You don't need me to list them here. You don't need another person spouting off about changing jobs or getting a therapist or whatever because you have already heard it. You know the advice is out there. You know there is a way to a solution, even if it doesn't seem like it now. You know your "I can't" is a lie. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be posting in a blog about killing yourself, you would have already jumped, or moved on.
So deal with the consequences of your actions. Its the only thing there is to do in this life. You're to tired to go on, or find those means of getting back from the edge? Then jump. If you don't jump off that building, you've got to keep on dealing with the consequences of your actions. And if your action is to keep on drudging through the horror and depression and helplessness and futility you feel your life is? Then your consequence is to live another unchanging day.
You really want to die? Jump off a building. You don't want to die? Don't jump. Either way, no matter what you do, you WILL deal with the consequences of your actions. I hope you make some good ones.
This is a message to all you people who want to kill yourselves: you selfish egotistical bunch of idiots! A friend of mine died in a car accident recently. You should see how empty his friends & famililys life is now without him. Life is a gift so for gods sake enjoy it and stop being molodramatic.
what a douche. dont u think the familys are the ones responsable for people wanting to kill them selfs? asshole.
This site upsets and concerns me, especialy that it is posted by a so called health worker! If your experiencing this level of cynicism maybe concider that you are experiencing burnout and should keep this shit bewteen yourself and your clinical supivisor. Ever heard of EPA. You can't just post a little warning and feel free of guilt a 12 year old kid is using this information to narrow down what options she has to complete a sucessful suicide. I am reporting this site and you should be ashamed. To the poeple on this site who is thinking of attempting to take your life, suicide is a feeling and it does go and life can get better. It can get worse but change is about attitude (and not like the attitude of this blogger). It's health professionals and doctors with this attitude toward guenuine dispair that make it so hard to seek support. I attempted suicide many many times when I was maturing I thought I was worthless, I still have rough times but I realised that if I do things to make myself feel good things and forced myself everyday to reafirm my self worth and what a gift life can be. Now I have a good life, not an easy life I still have to work hard feel hurt get disapointed, heartbroken and betrayed but I know they are just bumps and life goes on and can be great. Tpo the blogger you are dangerous, ignorant and more fucked up than the poor mentally unwell you are bitching about.
hang in there kid please
Les
Hmmmm, these comments are full of people I can relate to. 2 kinds actually, the kind that are contemplating suicide, and the other type of person that are generally the cause of people wanting to kill themselves when you see them on the whole everyday. And like I said I can relate to both mainly because yes, I do have suicidal tendancies, and yes, I think it's probably the most selfish thing a person can do to their friends and family, especially their parents. If I ever top myself I'll sure as fuck wait until the people I could hurt have already passed (parents basically). On a side note, anyone considering to do themselves in with a paracetamol overdose (even when there are opiates mixed with it) are in for the 3 most painfull days of their lives. As your body tries to get rid of the paracetamol, it just goes round and round your body sloooowly damaging their liver until it finally cuts out on the 3rd or 4th day. Asprin OD's can look forward to such a thinning of the blood that they bleed out internally and cough up their own blood before they eventually drown in, so a bit panicy for some 20-45 minutes... I was fairly drunk once and had a $100 hit of herion IV, and all I remember saying was "hmmmm, yeah that was worth $100" and then the next thing I knew I was in the back of an ambulance in a different suburb. Apparantly my heart stopped for some time, and a friend had kept me alive until the parametics got there, but I must say that was a very peaceful way to go because I didn't even notice. But please think of your folks, and your all you youngens who think their parents hate them. I've seen the biggest sinners become saints in everyones eyes because they passed, YOU WILL BE MISSED. It's almost as if deppression is an entity that once it leaves a person in death, it decides to enhabit all those close to the deseased, and I don't know about you guys but being depressed myself, going on over 15 years now, I wouldn't wish depression on anyone.
PS To some of the posting here please try to remember what is being discussed here, if some of you had any indignation as to you were saying then I can't understand why you would choose to insult them. On the one hand your being self-ritchous and telling them not to do it in that it is, quote, self indulgent, and good for you on that, a true samatitan. But on the hand it cames accross like your almost giving them reasons to top themselves because even considering it makes them a complete arsehole. In fact fuck you.
Another fact, 1 in 3 people will suffer some form of depression in their life so, as the saying goes, if your two mates aren't depressed then you are :).
i am suicidal and have attempted to OD on two occasions. On the first occasion i took 50 200mg paracetamol tablets- unfortunately i survived (obviously) but i can honestly say i will never do paracetamols again as i have never been so ill in all my life. for 4 days i felt so sick and funny headed- the pain and discomfort is indescribeable. the second time i took 3 weeks worth of trazadone anti-depressants which made me sick and unable to get out of bed for 2 days. does anyone have any suggestions for an OD that will be painless and easy to get hold of? i am 20 and cannot cope with my existance anymore. i have been abused and assaulted all my life and there isnt a way out. please help
yah my life suck i have to keep doing drug just to tay alive i have no friens my cousins hate me all my cousin and brother have everything going in there life and i tried reaching out to them but they dont care so i really really wont to kill my self my grandpa comit suscide when i was 5 he was 57 i life with my dad and he hates his life he drink at every chaance he gets he probley kill himself in the next 5 -10 year were the black sheep of the family iam a strong christion jesus is my savior and i ask for his forgivness so what the less painfull way to do it cause i wont to kill myself really bad
Wow, you are cracking me up; clueless heartless fucks. No wonder people want to leave this place. I read a thread where someone said "go ahead, do it. Kill yourself. KIll yourself." Are they here to help me do it?
No I don't care about those left behind. It's easy to say you want to help. They just never do. Can't handle it I suppose. Ah, human nature. Fuck you all. I'm too tired to kill myself.
How about abandoning your life and living it for others if you've already given up on yourself. Feed the homeless, whatever.
Are you people seriously telling me that your lives are so fucked up that you can't possibly fathom the thought of another day? Go and rent the movie "INTO THE WILD" it's a film directed by Sean Penn, true Story too. Maybe you'll see life differently and understand life isn't that bad, it's quite a beautiful experience, YOUR experience.
Now please, I’m not suggesting anyone take their own life but come on guys we have some serious sob stories here.
You are on the wrong site should you wish to kill yourself, not that there is one but why really to do this one these public sites nut for attention?
There are many numbers to call to help with drug problems and suicide issues but you already know that and if you don’t and I’m being rude and look then up
Since you have web access chat on this site then place in your web browser
“I am considering suicide and I genuinely need help”
Too many people try to fake suicide which takes valuable time and effort away from the real emergency services trying to deals with real emergency issues. You can find these sites easily but chose to labour points on us hard working people like me who needs a heart and lung transplant. Have already has a kidney transplant and it was all due to genetics not lifestyle(not that that makes much of a difference in my eyes everyone deserves a second chance in my opinion but all mine in generic defects) but if you are serious then most people know the correct way.
Go to several chemists and buy as many acetaminophens as you can, preferably 300 to 400 and start taking them with bottle of whiskey.
Please stop the sob stories on sites and forums like these and get some real help
Stop pissing us off by saying you tried sleeping oils, alcohol valium diazepam etcete1ra etcetera
If you want to kill yourself then go to several pharmacies and buy lots of acetaminophen.
If you are genuinely depresses then see your doctor and get professional help. There are people much worse off than you, I need a Heart & Lung already had a kidney transplant but still I don’t see myself worse off than most in this world.
There are Kids who have to walk 20 miles for water to survive, mothers who watch their babies starve to death, I could go on but it is too upsetting, rapes on a daily basis etc and you are moaning about exam results or not speaking to your parents because they have taken your car off you or something.
Get a grip on reality and appreciate others needs are greater than your need for mascara or shoes or cars etc so don’t talk about filling yourself here. Do it,
Well, let's see...one clown says to jump off a 10+ story building (if you really really wanna do it), and another advises taking 200-300 Tylenol w/whiskey (if you really really wanna do it). Of course both these clowns add a great deal of contempt to their long-winded posts because they're stupid enough to take a stranger's emotional pain personally, and respond with smart assed remarks and anger accordingly.
No one has the right to question the sincerity of a suicidal individual simply because that person is afraid of the pain, nor is it anyone's duty to make the fear that much worse by highlighting in gory detail suicides-gone-wrong. You can sort of smell the sadism there a mile away.
So, for any thinking people reading through all these posts, the depressed people appear more cogent and sane than their would-be advisors.
To the other clever people who are so sure a suicide victim will be missed, think again. There are countless murder victims -- John and Jane Doe's -- who are never identified. Why is that? No one cares about them. No one ever reported them missing.
You can rest assured the same holds for many suicide victims and those who are considering suicide. Some simply have no friends or family who care. Others who have family and friends, don't get any support whatsoever, and a few have even been told by friends and/or family to go ahead and kill themselves.
Walk in their shoes, and then judge.
how dare people who only think an individual person wants to kill them selves for attention obviously they have never felt that low as most of us are feeling on here god knows ive tried for the last 42 years to plod on and keep putting these thoughts out of my mind but my earliest memory from when i was a kid is nine i always tried to think positive from that day on when my stepfather continuously beat the crap out of my mother i still tried to think ok this is now but i will be happy and marry and my life will be great i ended up married with autistic son always sress in marriage and last year after 15 years i told my husband dont want to be with him anymore i did but couldnt stand the arguments any more my son has always been violent towards me and now im on my own hes getting worse hes 6f2 and 20 stone the bashings are getting more often and its wearing me down to the point i cant take any more my ex has picked up with a girl who has walked out of a marriage of 20 years and left her 2 children aged 2 and 5 and they are normal how could any woman in thir right mind do that all i ever wanted was to love a normal child and give them the life i never had and thats why i have been thinking for years shall i just end me and my sons life for the better hes got no future and neither have i and i cant go unless i take him with me thats why i need to do a proper job please help
Okies suicidal people, this is what your gonna do. Get the fuck off your computer, go outside and find something to do... walk to the nearest park, buy a fucking basketball and bounce it, take a nap on some grass ffs, all of your negative thoughts are being reinforced by reading everyone elses negative shit. If your young like these 12 y/os, call one of your school buds and go see a movie, play some football or just take the piss out of your school teachers =D, if you have lost loved ones think of how they would react if they were next to you and saw you writing these comments. Everyone here needs to get off their arse and do something, killing yourself is a selfish thing to do... think of the people you will leave behind and what you will do to them. That goes double to the guys and gals that have already lost someone. Now like I said hit that off button, open your front door and do shit. If you really cant follow what im typing, which tbh is really simple just watch this video, its all you need to motivate yourself in life and start enjoying what you have!!! /epicsmilingfaceoffunstuffs =D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYbYFYUGLJ4
iam cydney my ym is warmheat1013
ive been into a 3 yrs relationshipo we lived together then n the end of 2009we foinally decided to go back to our parents(due from over worked and fatigue i always gets sick and lost all our savings due from hosp bills). our parents are against the relationship so what they did is they cut every form of communication..he is 5 years younger iam 27 im the one who work when we are still together, i gave him all the understanding though a lot of people cant really understand why i do kept on holding on to the relationship.
for three months we werent able to talk to each other and for 7 months we didnt saw each other as of me i accepted a job of 35$/month with the hope to save some amount so that i could see him..one time we had a chance to talk, but instead of spending time with me on the phone he said he was busy drinking alcohol with a newly met friend w/c really hurted me a lot out of too much sadness and the feeling of being neglected i asked for break up he texted me and told me that he dont want our relationship to end and accused me of having an affair with someone and from there he never texted back....
after all this time i didnt know what my mistake is..i came from a broken fmily my mom aint treats me fair too...
its like all my efforsts just blew away..
i thought we both wanted to be married to each other someday...
im so blank this days i wish he knows what iam going through...
iam not successfull with having a peacefull family, not successfull with relatives who gives their support to my father's mistress's and illegitimate children..with friends who are only there when they need you, but always busy when u need them..
Today is my 48th and as I planned, my end day. I have delt with depression for 30 years and suicide is all I have thought about. I am a gay virgin with no friends, most family members are now gone, and I am mad that I waited this long. I had planned on coating my stomach with Pepto-Bismal and taking 140 2mg Valium, but reading the posts here is making me rethink my way to do it. Do you know what it is like to be old, ugly, poor, misshapen, never been in love or dated. I don't even know how to kiss for Christ sake. My only regret is leacing my 3 cats with no home. It has to happen today, I'm at the end.
get in touch I help you x
Chris
c-hague@sky.com
Whatever you do, DO NOT buy two Hibachi BBQs and seal your unit tightly before taking a sleeping pill and lighting the Hibachis. This will consume the oxygen in the area.
And be sure you do not leave a vacation stop for the mailman.Sadly,
people in Japan where this started did not follow these instructions and led to a mass following.
Sad to hear so many very young kids,
who have no idea what true suffering is. The Buddha said it is the first noble truth"Life is suffering" but he also offers a plan out of suffering that the the 12 steps are in part from his teaching.
if we all wernt ment to be here we wouldnt so just try to make the best out of everything and if u cant take heaps of drugs u will all be alright take care
I want to kill myself too. I think about it almost every day, but I haven't yet. There's some sort of strength that keeps me going. I'm not saying don't kill yourself, because I don't know you and it's honestly not my say. It's not my doing. But I assure you that every single one of you, whether you know it or not, has touched somebody's life. You've all done something important and if it wasn't for you, things would be different somewhere. Don't argue that it's not true because it absolutely is- you just don't know it right now because your brain is fucking you over. We all have stupid idiotic little lives that we have to live. Nobody tells us what we have to live them for, and sometimes, we can't remember what the hell that might be. But maybe one day there will be a reason. I don't know if I want to wait that long, but if I do, it better be worth it for all of the days like these.
Who is anyone to judge another on their desire to live or die. I am twenty seven years old, I lived the first 19 years of my life not even understanding what the emotion happiness was. One day I just woke up and God had given me a miracle. My life was shit, but I knew happiness, I no longer wanted to die, I wanted to live. This was such a shock to me I felt it had to be a higher power. From birth I had no desire to live. I was institutionalized at nine for trying to jump from a building. I lived there for a year. I was fifteen when I overdosed. I lost 70% of my hearing in my left ear and lived. I was sixteen the next time, and I was life flighted to a hospital better equipped to save me. I had only been found by my mother in this instance because she wanted the cordless phone which was in my room in the middle of the night. I was unconscious already. I was in a coma for a week, I was told I no longer had control of my bladder and would have to use a catheter from then on. The day I came out of my coma, all I could do was sob, I could not believe I was still alive. I'm such a fuck up I can't even get that right. I was 18 the next time, and something very strange happened. After I had taken enough pills to kill an elephant I went into shock and decided I did not want to die. I was in ICU for a week. I took myself to the hospital, this was shortly before my "epiphany" when I first experienced happiness. When I was 26 it all came flooding back. The joy disappeared and I put on my wedding dress and went out to the garage to gas myself. CAUTION: Some new cars have shut off valves that will not enable you to kill yourself in this manner - this was the case. I left my husband and met the most wonderful man. A man who treated me like no one had ever treated me in my life. I thought, it is back, my joy, and God has not forsaken me. I CAN have happily ever after. Today is our one years anniversary, and the joy died over a month ago when he relapsed. He was never an alcoholic when I knew him, but then again I guess that means I didn't know him at all. He is a monster now. All I want is for him to be the person I married, but he won't even try to help himself. I wish I had jumped from the building when I was nine. I wish I hadn't watched my entire family die in our home from cancer while I changed out bloody rags while my grandmother bled to death. I wish I had never known my first husband, and I wish I had never met my second. He actually told me that he will not give me a baby because it would only be mentally ill. He laughed at me when he said it. He is just like my father. My father who was a drunk who spent no time with me other than to molest me and abuse me and my mother and brother. He smells like him, he tastes like him. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up, I wish I could shoot myself, but I have eight stepchildren who need me. And so I can't.
I want to kill myself just wondering which is the easiest way to do this??
Bugger, i thought valium would have been a safe bet. Going to sleep and not waking up seemed perfect. Got drunk last night but decided to wait until i was a bit more sober to make the descision. Im so torn, i didnt see how my life couls get worse and then it did..i thought valium sent u to sleep and then poisened ur liver. ill have to see what else is in the cupboard to mix with.
Was that YouTube video supposed to make me feel? Tha fuck's the matter with you? It only makes it worse to know that some guy with no arms or legs is better than me at life! Jesus fuckin Christ, dude! I don't think that's what you were going for. A swing and a miss there, pal.
I really want to end it all. My boyfriend of three years has just ended it and I can't deal with it. My life is not worth living anymore. I have tried to od twice with cocktails of paracetamol, ibuprofen, a mix of anti-depressants and other painkillers like morphine but I ended up with stomach wrenching pain and nothing else. I am thinking of crashing my car tmrw morning but I don't want it to look deliberate or get me in trouble if it fails- would hurt parents too much. I need to make it look totally accidental... Help anyone?
can someone please help me kill myself, i'm a 16 year old female, with only a few friends and am the outcast of my family. All i want is to find some peace, my ex girlfriend also has just killed herself 3 weeks ago, so just want to be with her. This might sound selfish but i have always known that life was never meant for me, so someone please give me some good advice, but I want a painless amd easy way to snuff myself out many thanks.
seriously depressed - can't pull the trigger - total fear - have several bottle of pain killers and valium and xanax - 30 ambian - will that mixture work - how bout adding my blood pressure pill - life unbearable - something happened - hubby better with out me - what to do
A doctor once asked me "why do you want to die?" I went on to explain all that was troubling me, and then he said "If your situation was to change, would you still want to die?" I thought for a moment, and I told him of course not. No body really wants to die, they just don't want to suffer anymore. I have tried in so many ways, and even though I fantasize about death all the time I know that with my luck I will just end up alive and worse off than I already am. Anyone who says it's selfish to kill yourself, is indeed selfish themselves. Yes suicide is selfish and it will leave anyone that loves you in pain, but don't you think that wanting your loved one to live no matter the amount of agony they are suffering is selfish. People need understanding and compassion, and not someone that is going to judge them or look down on them. I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. I have no quality of life, and the mental toll of the pain is almost unbearable. I was in a cab yesterday on my way to pain management to get an epidural block, and I started fantasizing about jumping out of the cab on the freeway. Really no rhyme or reason why, just an instant glimpse of me rolling out of the cab down the freeway. Then I thought I'll just end up paralyzed and unable to end my life when I really need to. You can't live for someone else. That mind set might get you through a couple of years, but the drive will fade and you will end up wanting to die again anyways. Seek help, and then seek help, and if that still doesn't work seek some more. Learn how to mentally remove yourself from any situation. It is very hard for some to do, but once you master it life will be bearable again. It really is never to late, and I'm not saying things will ever get better but if you don't try and try again you will never know how good life can really be. Mental and physical pain can cripple you, and if it ever becomes to much to bare call someone, and if you don't have someone to call go to the ER. Not all doctors are assholes. There are many that understand and really do care. They may be few and far between, but they do exist. I've seen over 100 doctors over the past 5 years for my physical health problems. I had some out right say No I will not take your case, and some that were interested in the beginning but lost interest when they realized the work involved in my case. Out of all those doctors, only a handful where helpful. Sometimes as patients we can put on blinders and only see the direction we think that we are going down. Step back take a deep breath and if someone isn't listening keep looking because there is someone that will. Don't waste your energy on trying to control something that is completely out of your control, and I know that is easier said then done. I am a 26 year old female. I have been, beaten by my father, molested by my grandfather who was a Baptist preacher, molested by my mothers boy friend a prominent surgeon in Harlingen Texas, in and out of mental facilities since age eight, foster care, group homes, raped, gang raped, anally sodomize, hit in the face with a gun and glass bottle, watched someone die, scars all over my arms, to many overdoses and suicide attempts, shunned by my families (both sides,) PTSD, post partum psychosis, Sneddon's syndrome, Bi Polar, Diabetes, Livedo Reticularis , hypertension, sleep apnea, TIA, PCOS, fatty liver, mass on my adrenal gland, no reserve cerebral profusion, Bulging disk pinching the nerve root sleeve, torn ATFL and split Brevis tendon, COPD, Asthma, Angina, Chronic pain and infections, GERD, Chairi 1 Malformation, Arthritis, among other things! Just remember if you are feeling bad there is always someone that has it worse than you, and situations can change so don’t give up hope.
I'm a 40 yr old attractive woman and have wished for for death since I was about 10. I was never abused or anything disturbing like that when I was younger. However my life has been hell and I can't helP but feel like I'm 1 very misunderstood person. I'm tired of people talking over the top of me, expecting me to fix their problems and not giving damn about how I feel. I've tried to commit suicide numerous times and I actually think I have brain damage from these attempts. If I knew a sure fire way that envolved no pain and a 5 minute or less death - I wouldnt be typing this now. Yes you can laugh and say why haven't I killed myself with a gun to my head, but I dont want my elderly mother to find me one week later with brains on the wall in my 1 bedroom apartment...so I've tried many a thing ... Trust me , slicing ur wrists does not work! I have a scar on my left arm from wrist to elbow, from a rusty blade, and I know how to cut bcos my dad was a butcher.. But the blood doesn't flow when you cut (and I mean really deep) it just co-agulates and u end up with a nasty scar. 150 Valium just makes you sleep for a long time and will worry the friend/ relo that comes to visit u in the next 72 hrs. They will also send you to a psych hospital if they catch on that u are trying to off yourself. I'm on this site for real answers - no jumping in front of a train. That poor train has to live with that the rest of his life so that's not fair. Does anyone know a fail safe method in killing yourself. ? Ps .. I hung myself and the beam broke do I have that scar too. :)
Firstly I am in Australia down in Sale Victoria "bottom right hand corner" :) ... Im guessing most of you are in the USA???
I have read and scanned all of the posts on here and can relate to all that I have read and do seriously understand the pain and torment you all feel.... I am almost 44 and have 4 great kids and in a marriage that is on and off like a light switch...
I stumbled upon this site purely as a result of a search to see if I could wack some Duromine... yup that was all... actually trying to kick the use of shooting speed and ice etc and so far have made it to 11 days.. I have been through a shitty life however and have in the past attempted suicide on occasions... some very serious attempts and some just fantasies along with some attempts that maybe or maybe not were just for attention?? I dont know? lets face it if you attempt to end your life it is an attempt at suicide and it is a very sad thing to do . I say this as I do miss people once they have passed on and some of the ones I miss have gone as a result of suicide.. the pain and mental anguish of it sucks..........
Shannon C
I am curious why is it that doctors have a choice as to wether or not they will take on your case? are you saying that you can be turned out into the street and denied medical care? This seems rather barbarick and cruel!!!
I would really like to perhaps hear from you purely as a friend someone to chatt to you have been through more than your share of shit! there is no nice way of putting it... I have a similar history and It is so sad... I wrote all mine on facebook one day recently and ended it by stating that It makes me sad and I do cry when I think of that lonely scared little boy ... "ME" and in all honesty I grew up and even today have times where I simply am looking down at myself... I guess its my way of seperating myself from the mental torment of it....
email is givusabrake@hotmail.com
I have always thought anyone who considered suicide to be pathetic. However, something changed my mind. Up until last July I was healthy, handsome, strong, and very sucessful. Then at age 45, I had a stroke. Now I am paralyzed. I have no use of my left hand and arm and very limited ability to walk. I am numb on my left side too so I have trouble eating now. I can no longer play guitar, golf, dance, drive, fish, boat, ride a motorcycle or any other hobby I had. Also women don't dig guys in wheelchairs or guys that walk like Frankenstien.
My life went from perfect to horrible in about one hour. I was retired with a $4000 a month retirement income. I had no bills, a nice home, and all the free time to do whatever I wanted. Then I woke up having a stroke. I have been in hospitals , nursing homes, and physical rehabs for the past five months learning to walk. One of the places I was in was a nursing home. Believe me that is not where anyone wants to be.
So, now I have decided to end it. I am just waiting to be re leased from the hospital next week. I have a shotgun and that is a sure fire way to do it.
I know I can never get my body or my life back. I live in constant pain in my back from the way I have to walk now. My arm is pulling out of the joint because the muscles don't function to hold it in place now and that is horribly painful too, so I am done.
I am leaving my son and my ex wife set up very well so I am not causing any financial disasters for anyone.
Strangely, I am at peace with this decision. Wish me luck.
I'm in constant turmoil, my mind is never at ease. No hope for the future. I'm not stupid but I have zero motivation to do anything, I find everything so hard. I have two young kids who I'm destroying because of my moods and emotions. Is it kinder just to go now in time they will forget me they are only 10 an 8. I see their anxiety already what am I doing? Help me
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